We are a generation of women who have learned to keep going, to put pain into perspective.
To dismiss mood swings, cravings, fatigue, and tears as: “ it’s just part of it .” But is that actually true?
In this blog, I will take you step by step through:
- what a healthy menstrual cycle looks like
- what you might notice in each phase, physically, emotionally, and mentally
- where the boundary lies between normal and abnormal
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and why so many complaints are still dismissed – by the medical world and by women themselves
This article is not intended to make you anxious, but to give you more body knowledge, awareness, peace, and control. Because that is something we, as women, should have learned much earlier.
First, back to basics: what does a 'normal' cycle look like?
An average menstrual cycle lasts 21 to 35 days, calculated from day 1 of your period to day 1 of the next. For convenience, this cycle is often divided into four phases, each with its own hormonal dynamic.
It is important to know that a healthy cycle is not the same every day. Your hormones fluctuate and you move with them—at least, that is the goal.
1. The menstrual phase (± 3-7 days)
Day 1 of your cycle starts with your period.
What is happening?
Estrogen and progesterone are low. The built-up uterine lining is shed: that is your period.
What can you notice?
- Less energy
- Greater need for rest and turning inward
- Mild cramps or a heavy feeling in the lower abdomen
- Sometimes headaches or lower back pain
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More emotional sensitivity
Mild discomforts can be normal. Severe pain, loss of function, or suffering is not.
Want to read more about the menstrual phase?
2. The follicular phase (± day 1-13)
This phase partially overlaps with your menstruation and lasts until your ovulation.
What is happening?
Estrogen starts to rise. Your body prepares for ovulation.
What can you notice?
- Your energy is slowly returning
- Thinking more clearly
- More motivation and initiative
- Lighter feeling in your body
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More optimism
This is often a phase of development, creativity, and focus .
3. The ovulation phase (± 1-3 days)
Ovulation takes place around the middle of your cycle.
What is happening?
Estrogen peaks, followed by a short LH peak that triggers ovulation.
What can you notice?
- You feel social and confident
- Increased libido
- Clear skin
- Sometimes mild ovulation pain on one side
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Your communication flows more easily.
Biologically speaking, this is your most fertile phase. But let's be honest, this is by no means a pleasant phase for every woman. It is supposed to be, though, so know that if you experience many symptoms during this phase, taking action is appropriate.
4. The luteal phase (± 10–14 days)
This is the phase from ovulation until your period.
What is happening?
Progesterone rises. This hormone ensures rest, stability, and recovery.
What can you notice?
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Greater need for structure and completion
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Slightly less energy
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Greater need for nutritious food
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More sensitive to stimuli
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Greater need for solitude
A slight drop in energy or mood is normal. But your cycle should not disrupt you emotionally or mentally and interfere with your daily life.
Want to read more about progesterone and mental rest during your luteal phase?
What we have come to consider 'normal', but often isn't.
This is where things often go wrong; because so many women walk around with the same complaints, they become normalized. But frequent is not automatically healthy. Let's dive into what is not normal and requires action and further investigation.
Menstrual pain that brings your life to a standstill
- Unable to work
- Doubled over in pain
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Needing pain relief to function
Menstrual pain may be mild, but it should not be debilitating or prevent you from functioning normally.
Heavy or abnormal blood loss
- You have to change it every hour, otherwise you'll leak through.
- Clots larger than a €2 coin
- Bleeding for longer than 7-8 days
- Fainting, loss of energy, restless legs and hair loss (iron deficiency due to blood loss)
This is often a sign of estrogen dominance due to low progesterone, inflammation, or disrupted ovulation. Read more about menstrual pain in teenagers .
Absent or very irregular cycle
- Cycles shorter than 21 or longer than 35 days
- Months without a period without pregnancy
- A different length every month
This is not a nice or convenient convenience, but a sign that your system is under pressure and therefore your ovulation is disrupted or even stopped.
Severe PMS or PMDD
- Extreme mood swings
- Anxiety, sadness, or panic before your period
- Binge eating or total loss of appetite
- Sore breasts or sensitive nipples
- Extreme bloating and bowel problems
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Constantly doubting and reconsidering everything.
You do not have different personalities; this is hormonally and neurologically driven and deserves attention and care. Read more about what PMS is here.
Dark thoughts that return monthly
- Hopelessness
- Thoughts of disappearing or not wanting to be
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Suicidal thoughts around the same phase of your cycle
This is not normal and not 'who you are'. This is often hormonally related and requires serious attention and guidance. This often aligns with PMDD and sensitivity to hormonal fluctuations. Do not walk around with this and seek targeted help for it.
Common menstrual complaints, broken down
Physically
- Severe bleeding and clots
- Intestinal complaints (diarrhea, constipation, bloating)
- Headache and migraine
- Acne or skin changes
- Fatigue or dizziness
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Fertility problems
Emotional
- Irritability
- Crying spells
- Feelings of anxiety
- To be overwhelmed
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Feeling of failure or inadequacy
Mental
- Brain fog
- Concentration problems
- Indecisiveness
- Negative thought patterns
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Recurring existential doubts
Many of these complaints are considered 'normal' because:
- women are structurally underrepresented in medical research
- For a long time, research has been based on the male 24-hour rhythm
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women's complaints are still often minimized or psychologized
The role of your gut, liver, and nervous system
Your hormones do not work independently of the rest of your body.
- Your gut plays a key role in the breakdown and reabsorption of estrogen.
- Your liver takes care of detoxifying used hormones.
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Your nervous system determines how sensitive you react to hormonal fluctuations.
When these systems are out of balance, you almost always see it reflected in your cycle. That is why a holistic approach is extremely important, because your body does not function as a standalone entity but as a collaborative whole with individual needs. Read more about your hormonal system here.
When is it time to take action?
You don't have to intervene immediately at every signal. Sometimes understanding alone helps enormously. That aha moment where you think: “Oh. This is what is happening.”
But ask yourself these questions:
- Do symptoms return every cycle?
- Do they affect your energy, work, relationships, or self-image?
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Do you structurally adjust your life out of necessity, not by choice?
Then it is time to look further. On my website, you will find several blogs that delve deeper into hormones, lifestyle, and recovery.
Your hormones: can you influence them?
Not completely, but much more than we have been taught. How you live, eat, sleep, move, and which products you use influence your hormonal balance daily. Understanding brings peace, insight provides choice, and choice is where change begins.
Do you want to make a fresh start?
Then I invite you to start with the basics.
Download the Women's Health Guide for free here
A clear, practical starting point to better understand your cycle, hormones, and body without feeling overwhelmed.
Have you been experiencing symptoms for a while and would you like to explore the possibilities for resolving this? In the Women's Health Scan, we can look together at what is going on, what your body needs, and which steps are suitable for you.
Your cycle is not a problem to solve; it is an incredibly important system to learn to read, and remember, you don't have to do that alone.
